Julie Stallman is the owner and publisher of TriangleSeniorYear.com. She is a graphic designer and marketing professional with a love of all things creative and a sincere appreciation for small business owners. Julie and her family have lived in Cary for over 21 years and feel fortunate to call the Triangle home.
To Parents of Rising Seniors, From Class of 2020 Parents
Early in my daughter’s senior year of high school, a small group of my friends and I promised to help each other stay on top of all of the senior year dates, deadlines, and information that we were getting from multiple sources on an almost weekly basis. We were determined that no yearbook deadline, cap and gown order form, or senior event photo op would fall through the cracks! We sent reminder texts and helped each other with last-minute requests for slideshow pictures, senior salute posters, and playbill ads. I’m not sure any of us would have successfully navigated senior year without that collaboration.
In a way, it kind of reminded me of being a new parent. Remember the emotion and whirlwind of the infant and toddler years? I, for one, would not have survived them without the friendships, camaraderie, and advice that were my lifelines back then. I think the hectic, and sometimes frenzied, teen years can be similar; my daughter’s senior year brought on the same type of need for connection, collaboration, and support that got me through the beginning of my parenting journey.
In that spirit, I reached out to my friends and asked them to reflect on their recent graduate’s senior year and share their thoughts to pass along to parents of the Class of 2021. None of the ideas or advice is revolutionary, but whether you’re about to embark on your first time or your final time as a senior parent, the collective advice from these class of 2020 parents is thoughtful, honest, and hopefully helpful.
Get Ready & Stay Organized
“The sheer number of things required to fill out college applications that are solely the student’s responsibility was surprising. She needed help to stay on task with deadlines, etc.” - Middle Creek High School c/o 2020 parent
There’s a lot to stay on top of and it’s pretty easy for both you and your senior to feel overwhelmed. You might be thinking “how much can there be to keep track of?” For senior activities and events, it will be different for every school and the ease of keeping up with it will be largely dependent on how well the information is communicated to you by the school and school organizations. As one friend admitted, “The first time as a senior parent was rough! I was a bit clueless and we almost missed out on some things.”
Plus, if your student is college-bound and starting the college application process, go ahead and double or maybe even triple the amount of information you will need to keep track of. Every college or university’s application has slightly different requirements and multiple types of deadlines. Multiply that by the number of schools your student is applying to and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Plus you’ll need to have a handle on things like financial aid and scholarship dates and deadlines too.
Pro tip: Before senior year even starts, figure out what works best for you and your student to easily keep track of all of the information you’ll receive and have to manage. Some ideas:
Set up weekly check-ins so you both stay in the loop on dates, tasks, and deadlines.
Use Google docs to create, share, and update a spreadsheet of dates and deadlines.
Go old-school and print calendars for the fridge that you can both add info to.
Use Trello or another online project management app to collaborate on senior year events and deadlines.
One mom said if she could do it over, she would have liked a printable timeline to help stay on track and make sure they didn’t miss anything. Whatever you choose, some sort of plan and/or system will help tremendously.
Seek Resources And Support Where You Need To
“I paid a tutor to work with my son on his essay because we couldn’t agree. She was so helpful and he followed her suggestions.”
- Green Hope High School c/o 2019 and 2020 parent
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or a particular task or event just isn’t in your wheelhouse, there are plenty of resources available to help.
I knew that if I was the primary person guiding my daughter through her college application process, there would be a lot of unnecessary angst and conflict involved. Finding someone to help her and removing myself from the equation allowed her to progress through the application process much more smoothly and without the added stress of my emotions and anxiety. Honestly, it was the best decision I made all year.
And this doesn’t only apply to the college application process. When prom preparations didn’t go as planned, one mom I know and her daughter both ended up in tears. “In hindsight, I’d pay any amount of money to just hire the photographer, the stylist, the limo, the make-up artist, and anyone, ANYTHING else she needed to avoid the drama.”
Bottom line: Find support or outsource it if it means less stress and a more enjoyable experience.
Get Involved & Volunteer More
Easy to say when your child just graduated, right? This was actually a sentiment expressed by several senior moms when I asked them what the one thing was they wish they’d done differently during their student’s senior year. Whether it’s with the PTSA, Senior Planning Committee, the Theater Company, or just volunteering in general, there are always ample opportunities to lend a hand in our schools. I actually volunteered quite a bit during my daughter’s four years of high school and always enjoyed the opportunity to get to know the students and teachers, see “behind the scenes” at events, and connect with other parents.
Let Go & Promote Independence
“Let your senior see their friends as much as they would like! Let them take trips, even day trips!”
- Apex Friendship c/o 2020 and 2022 parent
As the push and pull of your teen’s independence and self-sufficiency enters the homestretch, and if they’ve earned it, let go to the degree you’re comfortable. It will help them grow and continue to learn how to navigate the world without the immediate safety net of living at home. If your senior will be heading away to college next year, they’re about to take a giant step toward independence and adulthood, so give them opportunities to practice (and fail) while they’re still living at home. You can nudge them and help them course-correct if needed, but encourage their independence, and hopefully, they’ll embrace it responsibly.
Something a neighbor said to me years ago has always stuck with me. She was relaying the story of a tribulation one of her teens had faced and how she and her husband had handled it. I still had young children and must have been looking at her with an incredulous look on my face because she said, “The goal is to raise adults.” She pretty much left it at that, but she might as well have been Yoda at that moment because I thought it was brilliant. That simple sentence has resonated with me ever since.
My friend Jen summed it up well when she expressed that one of the things she would have done differently during her daughter Grace’s senior year was to “remember that she needs to be able to make decisions more consistently since she will be an independent adult when she goes to college and will be making many decisions without my input.”
Enjoy Every Moment & Take More Pictures!
“Slow down and take it all in.”
- Green Hope c/o 2020 and 2022 parent
It’s a simple sentiment, but not necessarily easy because the emotions and almost manic pace of senior year can make it harder than usual. Take deep breaths and try to enjoy the moments, big and small. You can’t slow down time, but you can be present and engaged. And if it’s not working for you, scroll back up and read the section about seeking support when you need it!
Photographing all the special events and traditions during senior year kind of goes hand-in-hand with enjoying every moment. There’s no such thing as too many pictures! Not ever, in my opinion, but especially in your student’s senior year. Many parents expressed that they wished they had taken “more pictures of everything” senior year. Smart phones make it easy (though I tried to use my DSLR camera whenever I could), and there’s no downside to snapping 100 pictures at an event. Except maybe for the potential for eye-rolling and exclamations of “Mahhhm!” But hopefully your senior is past that and will appreciate ALL of the pictures.
I hope these insights lend a hand in making yours and your student’s senior year experience overwhelmingly successful! Enjoy the year ahead. I hope it’s full of anticipation, excitement, friendship, camaraderie, and pride. I would absolutely do it all over again if I could.