Accepting Your Acceptance

As we’re nearing the May 1 deadline, many students are making their final decision about where they plan to attend college. It’s an exciting time, and there are many rites of passage that go along with making a decision from joining a Class of 202# group chat to outfitting the whole family in t-shirts emblazoned with the new college’s name.

But amid all the fun and exciting ways to declare your new allegiance to the world, don’t forget about the logistics that need to be taken care of in order to ensure you have a spot in your college’s incoming class.

To help, we’ve made a checklist to walk students through how to accept their acceptance.

acceptance checklist.png

Fill Your Free-Time: Ways To Create, Learn & Make An Impact From Home

This blog was initially published in April 2020 and suggests at-home activities for students during the Covid-19 pandemic. But many of the recommendations in this post are great suggestions for students to pursue at any time! If you are looking for ways to create, learn, and make an impact from home, here are some suggestions!

LEARN SOMETHING NEW

GET CREATIVE

First things first, there’s no such thing as an “uncreative” person. Everyone has creativity they can tap into - you just have to get creative with your creativity!

  • Make art - Let your creativity flow and create something! Anything! Draw, paint (finger painting counts!), take photos, make a collage, teach yourself origami, make a short film, play music, grab the adult coloring book you gave your mom three years ago, borrow your younger sibling’s colored pencils, and let your creative sparks fly!

  • Write it out - Use a writing prompt generator to try your hand at fiction or keep a journal so you can look back on this unusual part of your life. 

  • Cook something delicious - Has there ever been a more perfect time than to seek out the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe? I made these yesterday afternoon (I don’t know if they’re perfect, but I did eat 4 in one sitting).

    • If the kitchen is unfamiliar territory, learn some basic recipes. Ask a relative to teach you a family recipe or learn to cook your favorite dishes.

  • Grow something - Spring is the perfect time to start a garden. Look for fruits, vegetables, and flowers that grow well in your plant hardiness zone. If you can’t access seeds or starters, you can grow a lot of different things from food scraps!

MOVE YOUR BODY

  • Hit the “gym” - These days, every home has a home gym once you slide the coffee table out of the way. Need weights? Use cans. Dish towels and paper plates make great sliders. You can find tons of free workouts on Youtube, and many fitness apps and gyms are offering extended free trials or free group classes on Instagram!

  • Yoga - If stretching and mindfulness are more your speed, try an online yoga class. Yoga with Adriene has a huge following and hundreds of themed classes.

MAKE AN IMPACT

  • Help with homeschool - If you have younger siblings, relatives, or family friends, volunteer some time to help with their at-home learning. Design experiments, help with homework, or be a reading buddy. Use Zoom if your young learner doesn’t live in your house.

  • Organize study sessions - Even if you don’t have access to younger learners, you can still help your peers. If you’re going to be taking AP exams, organize Zoom study sessions using the AP remote learning resources. You can also prepare for the upcoming SAT and ACT using free resources like ACT.org and Khan Academy.

  • Raise awareness for a cause - Look for ways that you can continue to contribute from home. Consider ways that you can fundraise, crowdsource, or raise awareness from your couch. 

    • Get creative! One of our students is raising money to purchase supplies to sew face masks. Students who were helping with political campaigns can reach out and see if there are tasks they can do from home. And an idea for those who had spring performances canceled - I was recently invited to a virtual benefit concert hosted by a friend to raise money for disaster relief after recent tornadoes in Nashville. 

I hope this list gives students a few ideas that they want to jump in and explore further. This is an excellent time to pursue your own interests, explore the things that intrigue you, and learn what you want to learn!



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Decoding Your Financial Aid Package

We spend a lot of time talking with our students about finding the right fit. We encourage students to look for a college environment that fits them socially and academically. And we talk about which colleges have a price tag that fits their family’s financial situation. 

This is the time of year when all those conversations come to life. Most acceptance letters have flowed in and, with them, financial aid award letters. Award letters reveal a student’s financial aid package, showing the full cost of one year’s attendance, as well as any grants, scholarships, and loans that can be applied to a student.

Financial aid award letters can be confusing. It isn’t always easy to tell what is free money (scholarships and grants) and what is borrowed money (loans that will have to be paid back). And because few letters look exactly the same, it can be difficult to look at all of your options and be sure you’re comparing apples to apples instead of oranges.

Let’s take a look at what’s usually included in a financial aid award letter, clear up some confusion about types of money, and address steps you can take if your financial situation has changed.

DECODING THE AWARD LETTER

Most financial aid award letters include the following information:

  • Cost of Attendance (COA) - The price of one full year of school. This includes tuition and fees, room and board, and even estimates of other expenses like books and transportation. If the COA is not listed, try to find it on the college’s financial aid website.

  • Institutional Grants - Free money that does not have to be paid back. Usually need-based.

  • Institutional Scholarships - Free money that does not need to be paid back. Can be need-based or merit-based 

    • While students can apply for outside scholarships, these will not appear in a financial aid award letter from a college.

  • Federal Work-Study - Earned money in the form of a part-time job on campus. It does not need to be paid back but is not paid upfront. 

  • Federal Student Loans - Money borrowed from the federal government that is paid back with interest. Federal Student Aid explains the different types of loans and the amount you can borrow per year.

So what do you do with all of this information? 

You’re looking to determine the college’s Net Price.

The Net Price for one year of college is the full COA minus any free money. Remember, student loan amounts lower the COA in the short term, but you will have to pay them back over time and earned money (work-study) is paid to students over time to supplement their income.

COA - FREE MONEY (IE: GRANTS & SCHOLARSHIPS) = NET PRICE

The easiest way to compare financial aid award letters is to make a spreadsheet that compares each college and the types of aid offered. Make a copy of our template to use for yourself.

The difference between COA and any financial aid leaves families with an uncovered amount of money called a gap. This is the amount a family will have to pay from savings, outside scholarships, and/or private loans.

APPEALING YOUR FINANCIAL AID PACKAGE

If your financial aid package is insufficient or if your family’s financial situation has changed, you might consider appealing your financial aid package. It’s important to communicate these changes to colleges as soon as possible because they may be able to offer more money.

To appeal your financial aid package, you’ll want to contact each financial aid office to learn their appeals process. In many cases, parents will write a concise, polite letter that explains the special circumstances your family is now in.

How can we help?

We see our students through the entire college planning process, including navigating the waters after being admitted. If you have questions about your financial aid offers, get in touch with us so we can help!

Making Decisions When You Can't Visit Colleges

Update 3/18: Here is a list of which colleges and universities have announced plans for virtual events.

There’s no denying it - applying to college is a long process. But for seniors, March is when we start seeing that light at the end of the tunnel!

By the end of this month, students will have received admission decisions and financial aid award letters from many colleges on their lists. Now it’s time to make a decision.

Which school gets your “yes”?

Under ordinary circumstances, making this decision isn’t always easy. Even in a “normal” year, spring is a busy time for seniors. It can be difficult to make a second - or third or first - visit to each college that’s sent an acceptance letter. This is especially true for students who applied to colleges all over the country.

How are you supposed to compare a potential future at a local college (where you can visit multiple times, easily attend accepted student days, etc…) with the experience at a college that’s further away where you’ve maybe only spent a few hours?

For the Class of 2020, there’s an extra challenge - Coronavirus. COVID-19 is causing colleges to close campuses, canceling tours, accepted student days, and scholarship events. So let’s look at ways to help make that final decision easier when you can’t get back to every - or any - colleges still on the list.

VIRTUAL VISITS

Virtual tours are always a great way to see a campus without a major investment. I often recommend virtual tours before in-person tours for students interested in a college they’d have to travel a long distance to visit. Some colleges have virtual tours available on their websites, YouTube has lots of options (though some will be better than others), and sites like YouVisit offer virtual tours for hundreds of students.

Even if you’ve visited before, use a virtual tour to refresh your memory of what that campus environment felt like. You may even get to see more of the campus than you did on your in-person visit.

Don’t forget about the area surrounding the campus! Use Google Maps Street View to virtually explore the city or town around the college. (Pro-tip: You can also see how long it takes to walk from one end of campus to the other or from the residence halls to the dining hall!)

Keep an eye out for other virtual opportunities as well! College staff are working hard, and we’re likely to see many schools offering Virtual Accepted Student Days. Try to attend these, but be patient with any technical difficulties along the way.

ASK AROUND

Hopefully, you built a solid team around you during the application season. Your teachers, your school counselor, your IEC, and your admissions representative are all still here to help answer any lingering questions.

If you were looking forward to sitting in on a class, ask your admissions rep if you can be connected with a professor who is willing to speak with you about your intended major.

You can also learn a lot about a campus from current students. (There’s a reason most colleges have students give their tours.) Ask your “team” if they can help you get in touch with any current students at the colleges on your list and learn what their experience on campus has been.

REMEMBER YOUR WHY

When we work with students, we place a lot of emphasis on finding a good “fit” for each student. We spend time crafting a balanced list that fits our students academically, socially, and financially. In any scenario, it’s a good idea to go back and consider why you applied to that college in the first place. Remember the key criteria that make up your perfect fit and compare that list with the colleges you’re still deciding between.

A good tip is to look back at any supplemental essays the college asked for. Did you write a “Why Us?” or a “How will you contribute to this campus?” essay during the application process? Reread your own answers to these questions to remember your “why.”

START SOCIALIZING

There are ways for you to get to know your potential classmates without setting foot on campus. Join any groups on social media for admitted students and interact with people who are in your shoes. Ask them their “why.”

To get an idea of what life is like on campus, scroll through Instagram and Twitter accounts for colleges, admissions offices, or any clubs or sports on campus that interest you. Right now, they’re probably posting COVID-19 updates, but look back through their feed to see what things look like when it’s “business as usual.”

PAY ATTENTION - THINGS CHANGE

College closures on this scale are unprecedented, and the situation is changing every day. Some events may be rescheduled in a few weeks. There’s already talk of some schools extending their decision deadline from May 1 to June 1. Stay engaged with the colleges on your list so you don’t miss any updates!

Stay healthy out there!

Prepping for Test Prep

I’ve yet to meet a student who actually enjoyed taking the SAT or ACT. The tests are long, they take up perfectly good Saturdays, and they’re tests. 

Standardized testing may not be fun, but it plays an important role in college admissions. The tide is starting to change with the rise in Test Optional colleges, but for now, testing and test planning are a big part of the college planning process.

Today, I wanted to address some of the most common questions we hear from families about the testing process. Let’s dig in!

should my student take The SAT or the ACT?

“It depends” isn’t a very satisfying answer, but it’s the truth! Ideally, students should be exposed to both tests. The popularity of the PSAT ticks one box, but there are fewer options for the ACT.

If possible, students should try and take both tests to establish a baseline for both. If there’s a big difference in scores, then focus on the higher-scoring test. If the scores are about the same, which test did your student like better?

When should my student start thinking about testing and test prep?

Generally, junior year is a good time to start thinking about testing. 

Of course, there are some exceptions. Advanced students - particularly those advanced in math and who have completed Algebra 2 - may choose to start preparing before the end of sophomore year. Likewise, some recruited athletes may need to provide a preliminary score to coaches early in the recruiting process.

When should my student take the test?

Break out the calendar and think long term. 

I recommend that most students test more than once, and test prep provider Applerouth generally suggests that students doing test prep should plan to take the test 3 times. Make sure that your student is building in enough time to retest as many times as they feel comfortable. You don’t want to test too far into senior year because of early deadlines and the added work of college applications.

You also don’t want your student testing during other high pressure or extra busy times. Fall athletes may want to plan to test in the spring and vice versa for spring athletes. Think about activities like plays, recitals, competitions, or other big events. 

In high school, my friends and I made the mistake of taking the SAT the same day as junior prom. When I look back on that memory, all I remember is how tired and cranky we were from five hours of testing! 

Should we invest in test prep?

Most students don’t sit down and get a perfect score the first time, so there’s almost always room for improvement. Nearly all students will benefit from some sort of test prep, but it’s not one-size-fits-all. We help our students develop testing plans, and everybody’s plan is a little bit different. 

The more self-directed and disciplined students can be just fine working through an ACT book or using the free SAT resources at Khan Academy. But many students can benefit from the extra assistance provided by a test prep tutor. It can be an investment, but it’s one that can pay off in the long run.

Many colleges and universities use test scores (along with other factors) when determining merit scholarships. Take an out-of-state public school like the University of South Carolina. They publish the average test scores on their scholarships website. A student who moves just one point from a 29 to a 30 on the ACT could see a significant increase in merit aid over the course of four years. You can see big returns on this investment!

Hopefully this helps answer some of your burning questions about standardized tests.

Happy testing!

New Year's Resolutions

USA Today recently reported that most New Year’s Resolutions fail by January 17th. I’ve noticed that my gym is emptier than it was a few weeks ago, but our team is doing pretty well so far. One of Dana’s goals for 2020 is to make better use of time spent in the car - she’s already listened to two audiobooks this year! Brooke wants to cut out refined sugar. Lindsey is focusing on intentionally planning out her weeks with fewer distractions. And I (Jamie) intend to make 2020 the Year of Hydration - more water, less caffeine.

Did you set a New Year’s Resolution this year? How’s it going so far?

Let’s talk about a few different resolution styles and tips to help you keep with them!

One Big Goal

Is 2020 the year that’s going to change everything? That’s great! But if you have a broad goal in mind like “being a better student” or “getting more involved,” make sure you’re being specific enough about what it takes to get there and giving yourself the tools you need to succeed. 

For example, what does it mean to be a better student? Do you want to be better about time management or pull up a grade in a certain area? And what systems can you put in place to help you be a better student? Create a homework spot that’s free from distractions, and make studying there a part of your routine. Put a reminder in your phone to regularly touch base with your teachers about how you’re doing in their class. 

Some people quit big goals or feel frustrated because they don’t see quick results, so build in checkpoints for yourself where you can look at your progress, celebrate your successes, and reassess as needed.

Lots of Resolutions

Maybe you can’t decide on just one resolution. Are there lots of small changes you want to make? Habits to start or stop? Keeping up with a lot of resolutions (even small ones) can be exhausting! Here are two ways to manage lots of resolutions without burning out.

Habit Tracking - Use an app or your planner to keep track of each of your goals and how you’re doing. It can be a great motivator not to “break the chain” when you can see your successes on display!

Micro-Resolutions - Instead of trying to tackle lots of changes all at once, try adding something new each month. Your odds of succeeding at 12 things over the course of a year are way higher than succeeding at 12 things all at once.

Parent tip:  This is also a great way for parents to gradually give students more responsibility which will serve them well when they go to college. Maybe in January, you designate one day a week where your student is responsible for waking themselves up and completing their morning routine on their own. Perhaps you’ll tackle teaching your student to do their own laundry in February!

Resolution Minimalists

Maybe resolutions aren’t your thing, but you still want to make this a good year. Here are some ways you can dip your toe in the waters of resolutions without getting in over your head.

Be a Quitter - It’s hard to start something new. Building routines and habits take time, self-discipline, and a lot of motivation. Instead of adding something new to your plate, it can be easier to make a change by stopping something you already do. Then, take it a step further by replacing the thing you stopped with something you’d rather do instead.

In 2019, one of my resolutions was to stop buying books from Amazon. My intention was to support our smaller, local bookstores, but all I had to do was not buy from Amazon. Then, because I had to get books somewhere, I visited new bookstores, joined the public library, and shopped for used books at library sales and a book sale for a local swim team. I supported my local book community in new ways just by stopping one habit.

Word of the Year - Instead of having a set goal in mind, you might want to have a theme for your year. A word that you can turn to again and again when you need to stay motivated. If you want to focus on learning both in and out of the classroom, consider “curiosity” or a verb like “explore” or “pursue.” Maybe “family” will remind you to prioritize relationships at home or “laughter” will help you remember to have fun!

So what’s your resolution style? What changes can you make that will make this a better year, a better semester, or a better week?

The Daily Double

Finally, a contestant defeated Jeopardy champ James Holzhauer this week. The game show has been on my mind lately (we watch it a lot in my house - it isn’t easy to find a program that the whole family enjoys. We certainly aren’t gathering around the tv as a family to watch the Bachelorette or Game of Thrones).  So in the spirit of the Jeopardy miscellaneous category, Potpourri, here is a collection of tips to take us into the summer months:

  • If you are taking the SAT or ACT this summer, start waking up early a few days before the test to reset your body clock.  You might not be used to getting up early in July, for instance. On the day of the test, wake up at least two or three hours before the exam to give your brain time to fully function and make sure you eat a protein-filled breakfast.

  • Create a short list of goals you want to accomplish by the end of the summer. Refer to the goal list at the start of each week and create a small action to make progress toward one of the goals for that week.

    • For example

      • Goal: Read two non-fiction books in July

        • July 1: Read first two chapters by July 7

  • Run out of things to do? Earn community service hours. Search for various opportunities on the website: Activate Good.

  • Take the time to reconnect with family members this summer. Do your grandparents attend every sporting event and concert of yours? Send them a thank you note or even better, bake them some cookies and deliver them in person.

  • Think of the student you’d like to be next year. What’s one thing you can do this summer to get you one step closer to honing a skill? Maybe it’s taking a study skills class or listening to a podcast about time management.

And finally for $500:

Answer: This should be used daily throughout the year, but particularly in the summer.

Question: What is sunscreen.

Lindsey

End of the school-year reflection

My memories of the start of the school year are much stronger than my memories of the end of the year. I can easily recall August and September from each high school year but May and June are fairly fuzzy. Perhaps that’s because the beginning of something is so much more exciting than the end for me. The freshness that accompanies the start of a school year is so appealing, while the end is more of a let-down. I’m the type of person who enjoys the planning of a trip more than the actual trip, so I’m sure my personality has influenced what I remember of high school.

Although the end of the school year is full of activities it is valuable to find the time to incorporate some type of reflection into the to-do list. The key is to make it as painless as possible.

Tips for providing space for reflection

  • Celebrate with ice cream and talk about what went well this past school year

  • Create a pinterest board of successes from the school year

  • Ask a younger sibling to interview an older sibling

  • Provide an outline for a journal entry

  • Make use of social media and find 10 pictures that represent the highs and lows of the school year


Sample questions to use for reflection

  • What accomplishment this year are you most proud of?

  • What are the three most important study skills or habits you developed this year?

  • What was the most challenging part of this year for you?

  • If you could change one thing about this year, what would it be?

  • What is something that was hard for you at the start of the year but is easy now?

  • What was your favorite book that you read this year?

  • What was your favorite lab in science class?

  • What was the best piece of writing that you did this year? Why do you think it is your best?

  • What would your favorite teacher say about your achievements from this year?

  • In what class did you feel you made your biggest improvements?

The Time Is Now

Another school year is coming to a close, but before summer break officially begins, students need to survive and hopefully, thrive, through the end of year exams.

I taught a high school civics class for seven years and during that time I noticed particular habits and behaviors that led to successful results on the cumulative final exam. In an effort to help students reach their potential at the end of the year, here are my final exam tips:   

Start studying now
AP exams are about a month away and final exams are not far behind. Make the time to start the initial studying process. Carve out at least twenty minutes a day to begin to prepare for exams.

Review the material that was most difficult for you first
Rather than working through the content chronologically, focus on studying the information that gave you the most trouble.  Determine if you need more help understanding the concepts and ask the teacher questions that will clarify the material.

Review it again
After completing the initial review of the hard stuff, review it again. Most likely, it is necessary to take this next step to really internalize the content.

Use your resources
Stay after class or after school; use your lunch time; study with friends on the weekend; re-read the course materials; make flashcards; create quizlets

Reward yourself
If you start studying now and resist the temptation to just cram at the end of the semester, offer yourself a reward. Relax after a particularly intense study session. Play a video game or get outside.

Remember the habits that you cultivated throughout the year
Rely on your already strong study skills to take you through the end of the semester. Now is the time to really step it up and put the good habits to use.



Character Counts

This week, I attended an event sponsored by Inspired Capital and was introduced to the organization, Activate Good. During his introductory remarks at the start of the program, Adam Whitesell of Inspired Capital, said that he believes that people are “intrinsically good” and want to do the right thing. I agree. Adam further argued that people donate time and money to deserving organizations such as Activate Good, not for reasons such as tax benefits, but because they believe in philanthropy and they want to support community organizations. In other words, people give money to worthy causes not for their own advantage, but because they are passionate about what they believe in.

Intrinsic goodness and moral character have been on my mind lately (see my previous post about the admissions scandal), so the timing of the event sponsored by Inspired Capital was perfect.  My belief in the goodness of others is at the heart of who I am and learning about organizations such as Activate Good renewed my commitment to my core values.

Goodness and character will no doubt be topics of conversation in the world of college admissions for months to come and I’d argue that assessing an applicant’s character will be even more important in the admissions process next year.  While students can demonstrate good character in many ways, admissions officers rely heavily on letters of recommendation to understand the student as a whole. Most colleges require, or at least encourage, one letter of recommendation from a teacher at school. The purpose of that letter is two-fold: to articulate the student’s strengths in the classroom, and provide insight into the student’s character.  Therefore, students should be thoughtful about who they ask to write on their behalf.

Letters of recommendation tips

Step One

  • Create strong connections with your teachers

    1. Students should consider these questions as they matriculate through high school:

      1. Am I making an effort to create a positive relationship with at least one teacher?

      2. Does at least one teacher know about my hobbies and interests or my academic passions?

  • Reflect on your contributions to the classroom environment

    1. Are you the type of student who participates in class discussions?

    2. Do you frequently ask questions in class?

    3. Does your work reflect your abilities?

    4. Do you collaborate well with your classmates?

Step Two

  • Ask teachers who know you well

    1. Only ask teachers who can provide positive examples of your character and studentship.

  • Provide teachers with anecdotes

    1. When asking for a letter of recommendation, provide your teacher with a few stories about your classroom experience.

      1. For example: I really enjoyed your AP Government class and found our unit on the Electoral College most interesting. My research paper arguing for the elimination of the Electoral College helped me more fully understand our system of government and the nuances of our elections.  Furthermore, I enjoyed our mock debates when discussing Supreme Court cases and was proud of my efforts as a result of my research of Roe V Wade.

  • Share your resume with your recommenders

    1. While your teachers might know about some of your activities, most likely they don’t know everything.

  • Write thank you notes

    1. Most likely, you are not the only one asking your teacher for a letter of recommendation. Take the time to write (with an actual pen) a thank-you note.

Volunteerism and philanthropy help us define good character as a society.  If you are looking to get involved in your community, Activate Good is a “good” place to start. The organization also organizes a summer event for high school students. Check out Teens Change The World for more information.  


Do The Right Thing

I think I was probably seven years old when I accidentally stole a pack of batteries from the local Tops grocery store in North Syracuse, NY.

It was winter, and I had on a huge, puffy coat with a furry hood, and I must have bumped the end-cap of the check out line and a package of batteries fell into the back of my jacket while I was waiting for my mom to put the groceries into her cart. I didn’t notice it at the time (the coat probably weighed more than I did), but when we got home the batteries fell out of my hood and landed with a thud near the front closet.

The packet couldn’t have cost more than $1.99, but instead of keeping the batteries, my mom bundled me and my younger sister back into our winter coats and loaded us into the car to drive back to the grocery store. Though I realize now that it was a lot of effort to return the small item, at the time it didn’t even seem like an option to keep the batteries.  My mom was just very matter-of-fact about returning to the store. It was the right thing to do. And it was also my first lesson in ethics.

Obviously, ethics and morals are on my mind this week as a result of the college admissions scandal.  Because my blog is about the college admissions process and more specifically about providing tips to parents and teenagers, it is only appropriate that this week’s entry tackles the topic of developing a strong moral compass.

Tips for Helping Teens Create Ethical Values

  • Model good behavior

    • My mom probably doesn’t remember the battery incident as vividly as I do because she always modeled ethical behavior and that day was just another day for her.

    • It isn’t always easy to do the right thing, but knowing that our kids are watching makes it that much more important.

  • Discuss scenarios and talk it out

    • The best conversations I have with students happen when we are involved in some type of activity and I can ask questions without putting them on the spot.

    • Instead of trying to talk through ethical dilemmas while sitting across from each other at the dinner table, go for a walk or a bike ride instead and let the conversation happen more naturally.  

  • Practice the gut test

    • Even though our world is changing quickly and teenagers are facing different ethical challenges today than previous generations, our instincts are still on target. Our gut will tell us when something isn’t right.

    • Ask your students how they feel when they know they aren’t making the right choice.

Professionally, my ethical values are grounded in the standards set forth by my professional organizations.  Fortunately, the industry of college admissions counseling is full of ethical professionals. For example, I’m proud to be a member of the Higher Education Consultants Association (HECA). The ethical principles guiding me influence my decision-making process every day. I love working with students and families as they search for and apply to college. And to be honest, it’s actually really easy to do the right thing.    

  


Celebrate the Small Stuff

Little kids are celebrated all of the time. We do a little dance when a three-year-old uses the potty, elementary spelling tests are covered in gold stars, and we cheer wildly when a ten-year-old eats his vegetables. Then life gets busy and all of a sudden, four years of high school pass by without celebrating any incremental successes. We tend to save the party for the end. I’ve focused a lot in previous blogs about the importance of failure, but now it is time to think about success.

Teresa M. Amabile of The Harvard Business School conducted a study called “The Progress Principle“. She proved that the effort of tracking small victories each day boosts motivation.  Celebrating and recognizing our small wins, boosts confidence. Motivation and confidence lead to more action.

If we know that works in adults, let’s try it with teens. Let’s celebrate minor accomplishments to boost motivation and confidence in high school students

What should we celebrate?

  • A small change in a study habit that yielded a positive result

  • Taking the first step to get involved in a new extracurricular activity

  • Applying for a summer program or a part-time job

  • Registering for a challenging course load

  • Reaching out to a teacher for help

  • Completed college applications

  • Finished financial aid forms

How should we celebrate?

  • Recognition

    • a card from mom

    • a shout-out on social media

    • a billboard with your kid’s face on it (just kidding, don’t do that. Ew, mom!)

  • Reward

    • A trip to the ice cream store on a week-night

    • Gift card to Target

    • Twenty extra minutes on Netflix/video games

  • Relief from a chore

    • Someone else unloads the dishwasher/cleans the bathroom

Our students aren’t perfect and by focusing on small achievements, we remind them they don’t have to be. Most teens need a boost in confidence and by celebrating the little things, we can provide the motivation they need to keep succeeding.




Tips for Selecting Courses in High School

There is a great line in the movie, Little Miss Sunshine, that Steve Carrell’s character, Frank, says to his nephew, Dwayne.  Dwayne, an angsty sixteen-year-old, tells his uncle that he just wants to go to sleep and wake up when he is older. Frank replies, “So, if you sleep til you're eighteen... Think of the suffering you'd miss! High school's your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that!”

In an era in which we are all focused on “sparking joy” the idea of embracing suffering seems really off-base. I love that line, though.  I know it seems really dramatic, but we learn a lot when we are suffering. I’m not advocating full-on grief, but I think being uncomfortable is really good for all of us, and especially for teenagers.

Therefore, that line seemed really appropriate for the topic of this blog post: high school course selection.  While I usually encourage students to take classes based on academic curiosity and their love of learning, sometimes, I just want to tell them that suffering through Physics is worth it. (You can easily replace the word physics in the previous sentence with AP US History, too).  

Tips for high school course selection

Make a 4-year plan

  • Outline your course work across all disciplines from 9th-12th grade

  • Review your school’s graduation requirements and course offerings

  • Take ownership of your curriculum and be intentional about your choices

Choose courses that will offer a challenge and might even make you suffer a bit

  • Avoid an easy senior schedule

  • Don’t choose a class just because you think you’ll earn an A

Pay attention to teacher recommendations

  • Your teachers know your strengths and weaknesses; trust their guidance (for the most part)

  • If you really want to move to the next level in a course (from regular to honors, or honors to AP/IB) talk with your teacher about what you need to do to earn the recommendation

Focus on the five academic subject areas

  • Colleges prefer rigor across disciplines, so make sure you are taking challenging courses in math, science, social science, English, and foreign language

  • Most students only complete the minimum requirements; push yourself to go beyond the minimum in all five academic subjects, even if that means you are taking all five academic subject areas each year in high school

Create balance

  • Your courses don’t all need to be the highest level that your school offers

  • Take into consideration your other commitments such as activities, work, sports, family life

  • Aim to work hard, but not to the point where you are sacrificing too much to keep up with your school work



Find Your Voice

My monthly goals for February include eat more veggies, spread love, and read. Today, I’m three for three. I ate some green beans at lunch, brought my mom flowers, and read a chapter in Tara Westover’s latest, Educated. Most days, however, I count the clovers in my Lucky Charms as my “something green,” try not to tailgate, and skip the book to watch an episode of Schitt’s Creek, so I’m doing really well today. Why am I telling you this? By sharing all of this information in my blog, I’m developing my voice as a writer, something we ask our students to do when they write the college essay. It isn’t easy. And it usually requires students to think more deeply about themselves than they want to.  Perhaps at some point colleges will simply ask for an Instagram profile as a way to get to know their applicants, but for now, students need to reveal their personality in writing.

Tips for developing your voice in writing

Practice

  1. Along with the required essays in school, practice writing in a journal or use a google.doc to keep track of thoughts and ideas.

  2. Avoid criticizing yourself. Just write.

Start to vary your word choices

  1. One of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Berg, is a master and her writing always seems special to me because of her word choice. Her words are simple and create a voice that is conversational. For example, here is an excerpt from the book, The Pull Of The Moon (I highlighted the words that I felt made the sentence have a “voice”):

    1. I would put the coffeepot back on the warmer and sit opposite you and talk about what was in the newspaper, and inside me would be a howling so fierce I couldn’t believe the sounds weren’t coming out of my eyes, out of my ears, from beneath my fingernails.

  2. Don’t use a thesaurus; stick with familiar words and use your own vocabulary.

Think beyond the formula for a school paper

  1. A paragraph doesn’t have to include four sentences; it doesn’t have to start with a topic sentence. In fact, a college essay doesn’t even need to have paragraphs (gasp!).

  2. It is easier to develop voice when you aren’t restricted to a formula. Play around with what works best for you.

  3. My favorite assignment in my 11th grade English class (and I can’t believe I still remember this) involved writing an essay by starting each sentence with the next letter in the alphabet. The first sentence had to begin with a word that started with the letter A and the second sentence with the letter B and so on. I failed miserably, but my teacher read aloud an essay from a really gifted writer in the class and that example of excellent work made me want to try again.

Write about what you know

  1. Pick a topic that you care about and just write for five minutes on that topic.

  2. Write about an event that happened in your life. Practice writing your own stories.

Talk it out

  1. The blank white screen is intimidating, so instead, speak and record your thoughts and then transcribe what you said.

  2. Tell a story to a friend and ask your friend to type what you say aloud.

Time to get out there!

I grew up in upstate New York where it was common to see snow flurries in April, but I’ve lived in Raleigh long enough to know that a few inches can shut down the city. Yet it seems that I underestimated the power of the threat of snow this past week when I was in Alabama. The weather forecaster in Alabama predicted a light dusting for early Tuesday morning and as a result of those projections, the Governor of Alabama declared a state of emergency.  So while the rest of the country was suffering from the polar vortex, Alabamians were staying inside because of the fear of a few snowflakes. No offense to anyone living in Alabama. I’m afraid of snow, too, and I grew up with it.

Alabama is home to many awesome colleges, and of course, football, therefore I traveled to the state to visit Auburn University, the University of Alabama, Birmingham Southern University, the University of Alabama at Birmingham, Tuskegee University and Samford University. Touring colleges is one of my favorite parts of my job and this trip did not disappoint. The football stadium at Auburn was massive, the greek houses at Bama literally overwhelmed me, the quaint family feel at Birmingham Southern was just charming, the school pride at Tuskegee was evident everywhere on campus, the medical facilities at UAB are state of the art, and Samford is just downright friendly.

Browsing guide books and using online resource tools help kick start a college search, but no amount of research can take the place of actually stepping foot on a college campus.

Here are some tips to get you going

  • Keep it simple

  1. Visit schools that are easy for you to get to

    1. When traveling for vacation near a college walk or drive around campus, even if it isn’t an institution you would ever attend

    2. If there are colleges in your backyard take an official tour on a teacher workday

  2. Try it, you might like it

    1. Leave your assumptions at home and visit the school with an open mind

  • When touring a college, see the parts of campus most important to you

  1. Don’t just take the standard tour; explore the parts of campus that are most important to you

    1. Like food? Eat in the cafeteria during your visit

    2. Work out everyday? Tour the rec center

    3. Play music? Wander into practice rooms and performance spaces

  • Observe

  1. Notice how students interact as they pass each other on the sidewalk

  2. What ads are featured on the bulletin boards - take pictures so you don’t forget

  3. Pick up a school newspaper and notice what’s highlighted

  • Reflect

  1. After you visit a college take some notes about what you liked and what you didn’t

    1. What did you tend to pay attention to

    2. Was there something that you noticed that really caught your eye

    3. Use your own words to describe the school

The threat of snow closed schools all across Alabama the day I toured several colleges, but in Tuscaloosa that afternoon, the sun shined brightly, the air temperature warmed to close to 40 degrees and I happily explored the University of Alabama’s campus.  Now it is your turn! Get out there and visit colleges!


Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it didn’t kill the cat’s chances for admission

I read the paper every day - in print! I think I’m the only one in my neighborhood with a  subscription to the News & Observer.

There is nothing I cherish more than the half hour I spend with my coffee and the daily news. My attention is usually directed towards the articles about politics, though I really should read the world news more closely, and I typically completely ignore the sports page (unless there is an article about the Syracuse men’s basketball team beating Duke in overtime, Woot!).

My preferences align with what I studied in college: political science. I chose my major because I loved my social science classes in high school and actually got involved in local and national politics. (You’ll have to ask my parents about the time I convinced them to put a sign for presidential candidate Steve Forbes in our yard).

Majoring in political science influenced me to intern with a lobbyist. That experience helped me realize what I didn’t want to do (work in government). It did, however, teach me valuable skills that I still use today. Though I don’t study government now nor do I intend to run for political office, my college major helped me discover my strengths. I like to connect with people, I like to share my passions with others, and I like to read and think.  All of those skills are valuable to me in my current work.

Many of the students I work with don’t know what they want to study in college and it isn’t always easy to convince them (and their parents) that they don’t need to know. (For more information about why a major choice isn’t always necessary, check out this article in Business Insider).  

While a definitive major choice isn’t necessary to complete a successful college search, it is, however, helpful to identify areas of interest and develop curiosity.

Tips to help high school students develop curiosity

Read

  1. While just getting a teenager to pick up a book is a big win, it is also important to diversify the reading list. Move beyond the comfortable genre and pick up a book that will challenge you to think differently.

  2. Right now, I’m reading White Fragility by Robin Deangelo, and The Grumpy Gardener by Steve Bender. Neither book relates directly to my work, but both help me think more deeply and challenge me in different ways.

Ask questions

  1. Keep track of how many questions you ask per day. Think about the types of questions you ask. Do they help take conversations in class deeper into the topic at hand?

  2. Pay attention to the students in your class who do ask a lot of questions. Perhaps they can inspire you to start to wonder why and how.

Find a mentor who will push you

  1. I don’t know about you, but I know that when I am aware that someone else is invested in my success, I work harder and tend to achieve my goals more frequently.

  2. Find someone who will keep you accountable and push you beyond your status quo.

Listen

  1. Talk less. Listen more.

  2. Listen to everything; music, podcasts, your parents, little kids.

Summer, Summer, Summer-Time

I worked my first summer job at a catering restaurant. The business boomed in the summer as a result of a robust wedding season. I joked to my friends that during the summer before 11th grade, I attended 25 weddings. Aside from learning at age 15 what kind of wedding I didn’t want, I gained actual valuable skills such as what to do when you drop a tray full of wedding cake all over a bridesmaid or spill soup on a groom’s lap. Looking back, I’m wondering how I wasn’t fired. I survived, and I think it was actually one of my favorite summers.

Summertime as a high school student can be tricky. In ninth and tenth grade, students are usually too young to work, too young to drive, but too old for most summer camp programs. That in-between stage tends to lead to a lot of binging on Netflix and video games; not the most productive use of time.  However, by the time students are juniors and seniors, choosing a summer activity can be a little overwhelming. There are so many options.

In general, college admissions officers don’t prefer one summer activity over another. From the admissions perspective, students should just try and find a summer activity that stretches them beyond their comfort zone.  There isn’t one thing that is more impressive than another. The summer program doesn’t need to be expensive or long-term, it should just be intentional. I suppose a summer filled with The Office re-runs can even be valuable if it leads to an amazing analysis of how the tv show reflects cultural values in real-world office spaces. (There is actually a paper on this topic. I’m serious. Google it.).

In an effort to encourage students to look beyond Netflix, here are examples of meaningful summer activities:

Academic programs

Most colleges offer summer programs for high school students. These programs offer students an opportunity to focus on an academic topic or just gain skills useful for improving academic preparedness.

Benefits of attending these programs include:

  • Exposure to a college campus

  • Interaction with students from across the country or even around the world

  • Opportunity for an intentionally academic summer

Potential challenges to attending these programs include:

  • Cost; these programs can be really expensive

  • Competitive

Examples:

Work

Working a job in the summer can be incredibly rewarding for high school students. Students learn to take responsibility for their own schedules and how to be accountable. It isn’t always easy to land a summer job, however, so it is smart to start the search early in the spring.

Benefits of working include:

  • Development of life skills

  • Income (money, money, money)

  • Creating new connections

Challenges of working in the summer:

  • Not always an option for students because of age

  • Lack of transportation might limit job options

Examples:

  • Summer camp counselor

  • Lifeguard

  • Ice cream store scooper

Athletic travel/camps

Competitive athletes typically play sports year-round and have the opportunity to participate in camps and/or tournaments in the summer. If students hope to play competitively in college, participation in their sports during summer is imperative.

Benefits to playing summer sports include:

  • Opportunity to increase athletic skills

  • Exposure to college coaches

Challenges of playing in the summer:

  • Travel can be costly

  • Summer sports can limit other opportunities

Examples:

Research

Students at all levels in high school can conduct research. In fact, I’ve often challenged students to find a topic of interest, create a question to answer, and solve the problem. Students don’t need to work in a lab to conduct research. They don’t even need to have an affiliation with a college or university to dive deeply into something they are passionate about. Self-directed research can be just as valuable as a project guided by a professor.  

Benefit of research at any level:

  • New academic discoveries

  • Intentional pursuit of answers to academic questions

  • Potential relationships with college professors

Challenges of wanting to spend the summer doing research:

  • Student might lose interest in the topic

  • Research opportunities with professors aren’t easy to get

  • Unmotivated students don’t always follow follow through on the project

Examples:

  • Self - developed project (ex. What barriers did Lin Manuel Miranda overcome to produce the musical Hamilton?)

  • Research at Johns Hopkins

Community service

Participating in a community service project during the summer is a great opportunity for all students, but particularly students who are too young to work. Of course, partnering or volunteering with an existing organization provides students terrific opportunities, but thinking outside of the box can produce some exciting experiences, too. Students should think about what they already love to do and find ways to use those interests to benefit others.

Benefit of participating in service:

  • Opportunity to do something good for the community (duh)

  • Create connections with organizations in the community to continue with during the school year

Challenges to including service in summer plans:

  • Can be difficult to find a long-term project

  • Transportation to the service project could be limited

Examples:

  • Love playing soccer? Consider volunteering as a youth coach in the summer

  • Volunteer with the Cary Teen Council

While I hope students experience more success during their summers than I did, the bottom line is to do something. Create a plan for the summer and set goals. And definitely share your thesis paper on The Office with me in the fall.



Check Your Email...

How many emails are in your inbox? 10? 500? 2300? Do you leave them unopened until you have time to respond? Do you delete them if you know you don’t need them?

I was recently working with a student and during the course of our hour-long meeting, he received 50 emails from colleges. In one hour.  That’s a lot to manage. Why and how is he receiving so many emails?

For one reason, colleges purchase student contact information from PSAT, SAT, and ACT testing services. Therefore, it isn’t unusual for students to start receiving information from colleges as early as ninth grade. The volume typically increases as students matriculate through high school, therefore, it is essential to develop email management skills as early as possible.

Tips to develop email management skills

  • Create an email account just for the college application process

    • Most students already have two email accounts - one for school and another personal account. Creating a gmail account is easy and using separate accounts for different purposes is a great way to manage volume and ensure nothing is missed.

    • If you will apply for scholarships through scholarship search companies such as Cappex and FastWeb, create a separate email account just for that process. Those companies send out multiple emails a day and the volume builds quickly.

    • Pro-tip - keep the name of your email simple, [email protected] for example and avoid using a specific college name in your email handle.  When you apply to Duke using your UNC4Ever gmail account you are sending mixed signals for sure!

  • Check your email once a day

    • Designate a set time every day to log in and manage your email. If you tend to forget to check it, set a reminder on your phone until the daily habit becomes routine.

  • Create email folders

    • Here are some suggested labels: college event invitations, colleges I’ve applied to, colleges I’m not interested in yet, responses from coaches, audition details, emails that require action from me

  • Use formal letter writing skills when writing emails

    • Include a proper salutation (Dear Mrs. Ringenbach), appropriate punctuation, and a formal signature.

Tips for College Applicants

  • Open email from the colleges to which you applied

    • Colleges keep records of email open-rates and some note if you clicked on any links. Some colleges use this data as a record of your interest in their schools. That information can be used to predict if you enroll in the college if admitted, and that data might influence the college’s decision to offer you admission. Open the email! Click the links!

  • Follow through on any actionable items

    • Is your application missing anything? Most likely you received an email from the college instructing you on how to check your application status.

    • Once you are admitted, you will receive email about open house events, housing details and various other important information. Don’t miss out! Read your email!

Though email isn’t usually the preferred communication method for most teens (txt me, pls), it is the name of the game in the admissions process. The better skilled a student is at managing email, the smoother the college application process will be.

Take Time To Reflect

When I was in my twenties, I started practicing yoga. Though I was mostly interested in the physical benefits of yoga, the mind/body connection was hard to ignore. As I deepened my practice and eventually became a yoga teacher, I started to really pay attention to how yoga was impacting my overall health.  

In particular, I noticed that I was becoming more aware of how my thought patterns were influencing my overall mood and well-being. My positive habits were amplified and the behaviors that weren’t serving me well were starting to diminish. In other words, I was embracing what was good for me and I was letting go of bad habits.  

In yoga, these patterns are called Samskaras. Repeating our Samskaras creates deeper grooves, making our habits harder and harder to change. This can be good; always wearing a seatbelt in the car, banning electronics at mealtimes, keeping a journal/planner. However, negative Samskaras can also be just as powerfully ingrained in our daily lives.

The transition to a new calendar year is a great time to think about our patterns and habits, or Samskaras.  It is a fresh start. Even though the school year is in full swing, students can also think about January as a time to reset.  What has been working well? What habits are worth holding on because they serve us well? To look ahead, we often have to look back.

Here are some questions students should ask themselves to reflect on the first half of the academic year.

  • I am most proud of my academic accomplishment in ______ class, because ______.

  • If I could go back and do it again to get a better result, I would ____________ (think about a class in which you could have done a better job preparing for a test, or participating in class).

  • I have spent most of my time (when I'm not in class at school) on this activity ____________________.

  • I wish I had more time to ____________________________.

After taking the time to contemplate what worked, articulate new goals to create healthy habits.

  • My academic goals for the next three months include ___________.

  • By the end of the school year, I hope to ______________.

  • In order to accomplish my goals, I need to do the following three things ___________ ___________ ___________.

About a month into the new year, check in and see how you are doing.  Did you follow through with your action plan? Have things changed in your life?  Are there any goals/habits that need to be adjusted as a result of life’s unexpected twists and turns?

As we transition into 2019, let’s take the time to be thoughtful about holding on to what is good for us and letting go of habits that do us any favors. And let me know if you want to come to my yoga class!